110 Days

I've been married for 110 days. I really want to write about this thing because for the for the first time in my life, I made the right decision. And it's blessed, both from my parents and the church. The church!
What would i bother to think of that anyway... Well, at the beginning thou, I wouldn't even wanna think of it. Not because of 'him' factor, it's the doubt, of myself. How could i possibly have another chance to ever live my dream while everybody I know have doubt in me to succeed? Guess it takes 30 pages to write down all the reason (thanks for my colorful background).
Instead writing them down, i open the new chapter in my book of life. First page: Marriage with the right person. I met--and awed--view good looking men in my life. I gotta to admit I am easy to awe to some certain kind of men. If they're fair enough, neat enough, play music enough, religious enough, and smart enough, then i'm hooked. Years of relationship then I stop counting when I met my 'ghost'. It's dark feeling toward him that sometimes inexplainable and absurd. The feeling just wooosh away. In just a blink, I lost my relationship with him. I don't love him anymore... And believe it or not, the feeling is really gone without a trace. Just memories remain. How hurt, how sad...
But this guy I met 4 years ago is anything but my type. With some pluses. He's resilience, funny, charming...charming guy with flamboyant ambiance. In shorter term, he's any girl's dream boyfriend. I hate to know the fact that he's a lovable. The story of a girl who left her city only for him was killing me. The story of a girl who wrote him a poem was killing me. I wanna kill him for spread the love virus around hopeless girls like them. Yet, i'm still in heaven knowing that from all the average looking hunter girls (confidence...confidence...), He hunted me! What all he's done for me haunted me. At the end of the story, i embrace my lost God and say yes to his proposal.
I never loose interest to know my God ever since even sometimes i've encountered my 'ghost' once a while. The weird factor is, i've managed to last this relationship. From day one I met him to this 110 day after the sacred vow (love to write this down later...), I've been in a real relationship. Yes, sometimes it's bitter, laugh all the way, and lots to learn relationship. But today, I'm still here, sitting in front of my office computer, writing, feeling how grateful I am for him. And Him. For last 110 days of my life and beyond, i feel so blessed.

Hey you, thanks for crazily loving me!